TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-09-25
APPROVED
Coaching Course Carol
Strength55
Speed80
Endurance80
Technique95
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Coaching Course Carol VS Quarterly Report Jones
Quarterly Report Jones
60Strength
75Speed
90Endurance
88Technique
2.6Molecular Density
87Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Quarterly Report Jones
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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