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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 10, 2025 at 7:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Comfort Gecko

Comfort Gecko

Strength50
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density0.3
Existential Dread40
Fingers4
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
Comfort Gecko VS Low Battery Mode
Low Battery Mode

Low Battery Mode

100Strength
2Speed
101Endurance
100Technique
10.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
20Fingers
20Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Low Battery Mode
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule