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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-11-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 11, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Just Greg

☠️ Just Greg ☠️

Strength75
Speed68
Endurance55
Technique102
Molecular Density40.1
Existential Dread55
Fingers12
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Just Greg VS Sandy Britches
Sandy Britches

Sandy Britches

70Strength
63Speed
96Endurance
71Technique
65.4Molecular Density
54Existential Dread
9Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Sandy Britches
Violence concluded.
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