TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-11-25
APPROVED
☠️ Monday Morning ☠️
Strength108
Speed33
Endurance94
Technique65
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread124
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Monday Morning VS Knuckle up Nick
Knuckle up Nick
75Strength
71Speed
71Endurance
83Technique
64.9Molecular Density
84Existential Dread
25Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Knuckle up Nick
Violence concluded.
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