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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-12-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, December 12, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Participation Trophy Tom

Participation Trophy Tom

Strength46
Speed52
Endurance58
Technique62
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread80
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Participation Trophy Tom VS Verne Troyer
Verne Troyer

Verne Troyer

35Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
1.1Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Verne Troyer
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule