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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-12-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, December 12, 2025 at 7:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Flat Earth Fred

Flat Earth Fred

Strength70
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique85
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread99
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Flat Earth Fred VS Millipede Aqualuft
Millipede Aqualuft

Millipede Aqualuft

65Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
80Technique
2.2Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
1000Fingers
1000Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Millipede Aqualuft
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule