TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-13-25
APPROVED
Verne Troyer
Strength35
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Verne Troyer VS Polymer Paradise
Polymer Paradise
91Strength
77Speed
89Endurance
79Technique
3.7Molecular Density
37Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Polymer Paradise
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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