TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-15-25
APPROVED
Bathtub Ring Bobby
Strength69
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique76
Molecular Density3.3
Existential Dread34
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bathtub Ring Bobby VS Prior Authorization Paul
Prior Authorization Paul
83Strength
70Speed
69Endurance
78Technique
2.9Molecular Density
58Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Prior Authorization Paul
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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