TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-16-25
APPROVED
Unattended Swing Set
Strength60
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread76
Fingers0
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
Unattended Swing Set VS Dust Bunny Dominator
Dust Bunny Dominator
90Strength
60Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
1.7Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dust Bunny Dominator
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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