TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-17-25
APPROVED
Troll King Tommy
Strength70
Speed90
Endurance65
Technique90
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread90
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Troll King Tommy VS Energy Drink Eddie
Energy Drink Eddie
65Strength
98Speed
70Endurance
80Technique
1.8Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Troll King Tommy
Violence concluded.
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