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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-18-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 18, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Mysterious Bathroom Smell

The Mysterious Bathroom Smell

Strength85
Speed65
Endurance73
Technique77
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread61
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Mysterious Bathroom Smell VS Loch Ness Monster
Loch Ness Monster

Loch Ness Monster

83Strength
70Speed
76Endurance
71Technique
28.4Molecular Density
62Existential Dread
15Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Mysterious Bathroom Smell
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule