TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-18-25
APPROVED
The Vorpal Avenger
Strength77
Speed68
Endurance79
Technique76
Molecular Density26.0
Existential Dread81
Fingers11
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Vorpal Avenger VS Low Battery Mode
Low Battery Mode
100Strength
2Speed
101Endurance
100Technique
10.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
20Fingers
20Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Low Battery Mode
Violence concluded.
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