TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-18-25
APPROVED
Troll King Tommy
Strength70
Speed90
Endurance65
Technique90
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread90
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Troll King Tommy VS Pork Chop Paradise
Pork Chop Paradise
91Strength
65Speed
85Endurance
75Technique
3.2Molecular Density
8Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Pork Chop Paradise
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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