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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 22, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Baiten Switch

Baiten Switch

Strength40
Speed75
Endurance75
Technique110
Molecular Density5.8
Existential Dread85
Fingers0
Toes25
TALE OF THE TAPE
Baiten Switch VS The Rubber Stamp
The Rubber Stamp

The Rubber Stamp

60Strength
95Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
41.3Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Rubber Stamp
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule