TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-23-25
APPROVED
Participation Trophy Tom
Strength46
Speed52
Endurance58
Technique62
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread80
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Participation Trophy Tom VS Kennedy Loser
Kennedy Loser
30Strength
40Speed
35Endurance
45Technique
1.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Participation Trophy Tom
Violence concluded.
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