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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-23-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 23, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
ChoKING on LeeSUN

ChoKING on LeeSUN

Strength58
Speed119
Endurance46
Technique77
Molecular Density89.3
Existential Dread69
Fingers9
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
ChoKING on LeeSUN VS Skunkhand Jenkins
Skunkhand Jenkins

Skunkhand Jenkins

60Strength
20Speed
120Endurance
100Technique
24.3Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
8Fingers
6Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Skunkhand Jenkins
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule