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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 24, 2025 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Denture Deborah

Denture Deborah

Strength55
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique85
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread40
Fingers6
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Denture Deborah VS Anxiety Duck
Anxiety Duck

Anxiety Duck

40Strength
98Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
0.8Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
2Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Anxiety Duck
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule