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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 24, 2025 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Tony the Concept

Tony the Concept

Strength43
Speed91
Endurance72
Technique94
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread88
Fingers7
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
Tony the Concept VS Yogurt the Destroyer
Yogurt the Destroyer

Yogurt the Destroyer

92Strength
48Speed
95Endurance
65Technique
1.1Molecular Density
18Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Yogurt the Destroyer
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule