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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 24, 2025 at 9:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Penne for Your Thoughts

Penne for Your Thoughts

Strength70
Speed80
Endurance80
Technique90
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Penne for Your Thoughts VS Diplomatic Immunity
Diplomatic Immunity

Diplomatic Immunity

114Strength
89Speed
59Endurance
72Technique
39.8Molecular Density
38Existential Dread
33Fingers
21Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Penne for Your Thoughts
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule