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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 25, 2025 at 8:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Lars Ulrich

Lars Ulrich

Strength55
Speed93
Endurance69
Technique88
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread65
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lars Ulrich VS What Even Is This
What Even Is This

What Even Is This

65Strength
90Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.1Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Lars Ulrich
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule