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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, December 27, 2025 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Knuckle up Nick

Knuckle up Nick

Strength75
Speed71
Endurance71
Technique83
Molecular Density64.9
Existential Dread84
Fingers25
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Knuckle up Nick VS Troll King Tommy
Troll King Tommy

Troll King Tommy

70Strength
90Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.5Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Troll King Tommy
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule