Help
Discord YouTube

🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, December 27, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Knuckle up Nick

Knuckle up Nick

Strength75
Speed71
Endurance71
Technique83
Molecular Density64.9
Existential Dread84
Fingers25
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Knuckle up Nick VS Bolognese Blitz
Bolognese Blitz

Bolognese Blitz

90Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
60Technique
3.3Molecular Density
30Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bolognese Blitz
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule