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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, December 27, 2025 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Knockoff Kevin

Knockoff Kevin

Strength76
Speed79
Endurance70
Technique75
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread33
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Knockoff Kevin VS Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Manson

70Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
88Technique
1.8Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Marilyn Manson
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule