TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-27-25
APPROVED
Xandra Pancakes
Strength62
Speed79
Endurance67
Technique89
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Xandra Pancakes VS Troll King Tommy
Troll King Tommy
70Strength
90Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.5Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Troll King Tommy
Violence concluded.
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