TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-27-25
APPROVED
Troll King Tommy
Strength70
Speed90
Endurance65
Technique90
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread90
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Troll King Tommy VS Insurance Denial Ian
Insurance Denial Ian
86Strength
75Speed
80Endurance
98Technique
3.1Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Insurance Denial Ian
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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