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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-02-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, January 2, 2026 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Out of Network Nancy

Out of Network Nancy

Strength78
Speed66
Endurance79
Technique77
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread76
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Out of Network Nancy VS Sunday Night Dread
Sunday Night Dread

Sunday Night Dread

73Strength
78Speed
72Endurance
77Technique
2.0Molecular Density
96Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Sunday Night Dread
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule