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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-03-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, January 3, 2026 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Manson

Strength70
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique88
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Marilyn Manson VS Sausage Festival
Sausage Festival

Sausage Festival

85Strength
68Speed
90Endurance
72Technique
3.1Molecular Density
22Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Sausage Festival
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule