TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-05-26
APPROVED
Diplomatic Immunity
Strength112
Speed87
Endurance59
Technique76
Molecular Density39.8
Existential Dread38
Fingers33
Toes21
TALE OF THE TAPE
Diplomatic Immunity VS Slurpee Samurai Steve
Slurpee Samurai Steve
80Strength
70Speed
85Endurance
90Technique
2.6Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Slurpee Samurai Steve
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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