TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-06-26
APPROVED
Third Floor Bathroom Mirror
Strength65
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density3.9
Existential Dread92
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Third Floor Bathroom Mirror VS Unattended Swing Set
Unattended Swing Set
60Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
1.0Molecular Density
76Existential Dread
0Fingers
0Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Third Floor Bathroom Mirror
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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