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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-07-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 7, 2026 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Warwick Davis

Warwick Davis

Strength50
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread35
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Warwick Davis VS TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"
TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"

TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"

40Strength
98Speed
55Endurance
88Technique
0.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Warwick Davis
Violence concluded.
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