TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-08-26
APPROVED
Kirk Hammett
Strength75
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique98
Molecular Density2.6
Existential Dread50
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Kirk Hammett VS Polymer Paradise
Polymer Paradise
91Strength
77Speed
89Endurance
79Technique
3.7Molecular Density
37Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Polymer Paradise
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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