TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-09-26
APPROVED
Sandy Britches
Strength70
Speed63
Endurance96
Technique71
Molecular Density65.4
Existential Dread54
Fingers9
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sandy Britches VS Surprise Bill Betty
Surprise Bill Betty
76Strength
72Speed
82Endurance
70Technique
3.5Molecular Density
66Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Surprise Bill Betty
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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