TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-10-26
APPROVED
Jelly Burgertoes
Strength58
Speed82
Endurance72
Technique95
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread50
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Jelly Burgertoes VS Sleep Paralysis Pam
Sleep Paralysis Pam
60Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
90Technique
0.9Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Jelly Burgertoes
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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