TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-13-26
APPROVED
Beans McBlase
Strength70
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique90
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beans McBlase VS Tutorial Skip Tony
Tutorial Skip Tony
80Strength
95Speed
60Endurance
75Technique
2.4Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Beans McBlase
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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