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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-15-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 15, 2026 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Pangolin Ruiz

Pangolin Ruiz

Strength80
Speed50
Endurance95
Technique70
Molecular Density4.8
Existential Dread35
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Pangolin Ruiz VS AJ McLean
AJ McLean

☠️ AJ McLean ☠️

55Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.7Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Pangolin Ruiz
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule