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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-15-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 15, 2026 at 3:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Thilly Gooth

Thilly Gooth

Strength80
Speed50
Endurance108
Technique62
Molecular Density86.3
Existential Dread81
Fingers12
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Thilly Gooth VS Scootie
Scootie

Scootie

43Strength
122Speed
64Endurance
81Technique
19.1Molecular Density
57Existential Dread
14Fingers
9Toes
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