TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-26-25
APPROVED
War Machine
Strength85
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique60
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread10
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
War Machine VS Paul McCartney
Paul McCartney
55Strength
75Speed
80Endurance
92Technique
2.1Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Paul McCartney
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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