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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, August 25, 2025 at 11:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
X-Ray Xavier

X-Ray Xavier

Strength65
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique95
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread75
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
X-Ray Xavier VS Just Five More Minutes
Just Five More Minutes

Just Five More Minutes

50Strength
40Speed
90Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

X-Ray Xavier
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule