TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-24-25
APPROVED
Baby Triumphant
Strength35
Speed60
Endurance30
Technique98
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers5
Toes5
TALE OF THE TAPE
Baby Triumphant VS Mommy Issues Mike
Mommy Issues Mike
55Strength
48Speed
65Endurance
58Technique
1.4Molecular Density
87Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mommy Issues Mike
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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