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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-26-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 26, 2025 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Lawn Care Larry

Lawn Care Larry

Strength70
Speed75
Endurance88
Technique80
Molecular Density2.5
Existential Dread55
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lawn Care Larry VS Tutorial Skip Tony
Tutorial Skip Tony

Tutorial Skip Tony

80Strength
95Speed
60Endurance
75Technique
2.4Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Lawn Care Larry
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule