TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-27-25
APPROVED
Pocket Protector Pete
Strength50
Speed40
Endurance60
Technique70
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Pocket Protector Pete VS Lars Ulrich
Lars Ulrich
60Strength
95Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
2.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Pocket Protector Pete
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems