TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-08-25
APPROVED
Shuffleboard Shirley
Strength50
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique95
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread50
Fingers10
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Shuffleboard Shirley VS Captcha Chaos Champion
Captcha Chaos Champion
60Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
92Technique
1.7Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Shuffleboard Shirley
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems