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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-09-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, September 9, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Social Anxiety Sam

Social Anxiety Sam

Strength38
Speed45
Endurance52
Technique72
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread95
Fingers6
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Social Anxiety Sam VS Tahini Poinsettia
Tahini Poinsettia

Tahini Poinsettia

70Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
88Technique
2.3Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Tahini Poinsettia
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule