TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-09-25
APPROVED
Justin Timberlake
Strength65
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Justin Timberlake VS SwizzleSchtick
SwizzleSchtick
50Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
120Technique
33.3Molecular Density
96Existential Dread
8Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Justin Timberlake
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems