TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-09-25
APPROVED
Copay Carl
Strength75
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique88
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Copay Carl VS Skunkhand Jenkins
Skunkhand Jenkins
60Strength
20Speed
120Endurance
100Technique
24.3Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
8Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Copay Carl
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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