TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-10-25
APPROVED
Tale of the Broken Elevator
Strength80
Speed60
Endurance90
Technique95
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Tale of the Broken Elevator VS Low Battery Mode
Low Battery Mode
100Strength
2Speed
101Endurance
100Technique
10.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
20Fingers
20Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Low Battery Mode
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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