TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-10-25
APPROVED
Artisanal Windbreaker
Strength42
Speed65
Endurance48
Technique68
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread92
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Artisanal Windbreaker VS Autoplay Assassin
Autoplay Assassin
75Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
2.0Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Artisanal Windbreaker
Violence concluded.
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