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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, September 10, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Empyrean Angel

Empyrean Angel

Strength70
Speed40
Endurance100
Technique90
Molecular Density25.4
Existential Dread8
Fingers6
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Empyrean Angel VS The Finger Counter
The Finger Counter

The Finger Counter

65Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
2.7Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
23Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Empyrean Angel
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule