TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-10-25
APPROVED
Professor Punishment PhD
Strength65
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique98
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Professor Punishment PhD VS Trash Expander
Trash Expander
80Strength
120Speed
50Endurance
50Technique
72.9Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
13Fingers
14Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Trash Expander
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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