TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-11-25
APPROVED
ChoKING on LeeSUN
Strength58
Speed119
Endurance46
Technique77
Molecular Density89.3
Existential Dread69
Fingers9
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
ChoKING on LeeSUN VS Betty White
Betty White
60Strength
75Speed
100Endurance
95Technique
1.8Molecular Density
5Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Betty White
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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